i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We had to coat check the pizza.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
