i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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