so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
