Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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