Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
wakey wakey hands off snakey
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
