how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
