her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
