Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
