Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
