Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize