Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
