we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
