She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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