yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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