Plan B is the new Plan A
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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