I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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