whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize