im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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