I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize