why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
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please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
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of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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