That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Still dying that you shit outside
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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