let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
All the doctor said was why
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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