i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
where are my eyebrows?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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