I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I enjoy the company of your penis
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