did you get engaged???
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My vagina is officially offended.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize