Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
