i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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