Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
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Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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