that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
