who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
