nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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