the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
