Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
