I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I need to align my fucking chakras
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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