What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
