woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
