it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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