I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
