3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
