Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Randomize
