Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
