no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
