its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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