DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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