my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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