I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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