i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
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he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
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she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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