This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
