come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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