They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.