We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
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i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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