Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
