what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I got her a Nickelback box set.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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