Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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