just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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