It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
