return my video game
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
