theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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