Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
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You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
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My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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