Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
me + whiskey = a bad person
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
