Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So many bounce houses so little time
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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