maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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