Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
