I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
